A conversation with...

Photo: Elena Seibert

Photo: Elena Seibert

Drawing on their combined decades of experience as administrators, educators and moms, Schulman (above right) and Birnbaum—the directors of the highly regarded 92nd Street Y Nursery School on the Upper East Side—discuss the power of patience, the benefit of setting boundaries and the importance of downtime with Time Out Kids.

You promote the idea of slowing down—that your child doesn’t have to be fluent in Mandarin by age four. Why is that?
NS There is peer pressure among parents to keep up—that’s a reality of life in New York. But you don’t need to put it all into the first five years; that’s not what children need to succeed, to feel confident, to grow and develop. Childhood is a long, long road—you don’t want your child to be burned out by the time she gets to high school.

The book also emphasizes that preschoolers need limits.
EB A lot of people react against the parenting they had, but sometimes it goes too far. If your child never hears “no” because your parents were too strict, that’s not a good scenario.
NS We see parents who are so capable in their work lives, but not in confronting their own child when he or she behaves in an outrageous fashion. You can be the authority figure—and your children will love you for it.

Is there any advice in the book that you wish you’d gotten before becoming a parent?
EB I wish someone had told me not to worry so much about what’s going to happen next—to just be in the moment with my kids and enjoy it.
NS I agree—I would have been more conscious of not rushing, of going at my child’s pace.

—Carolyn Juris