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Family Life

Say what?

Parents of children with special needs are often confronted by sympathetic friends and curious strangers who have a knack for saying the wrong thing. Here, parents vent about the most common offenses.

“My least favorite remark is when people who meet a child with a special need that’s not instantly apparent say, ‘Are you sure? He looks fine to me.’ ”
—Sarah Birnbaum, Upper West Side

“It bothers me when people say, ‘You should just accept what she has.’ As if to say, ‘You don’t need to worry or try to make it better.’ ”
—Marie Wright, Upper West Side

“I do not need any more e-mails about brilliant new breakthrough cures for autism! I even have to remind my mother. I read Scientific American—I know what’s out there.”
—John Ordover, Bay Ridge, Brooklyn

“The looks bothered me more than anything else. Often, when I had a hard time redirecting my son or getting him off the floor, people stood there with their chins hitting the ground. It’s like they wanted to say, ‘Why can’t you control your child?’ ”
—Margot Weinstock, Upper East Side