Interview with sex educator Nikol Hasler

Nikol Hasler is at the top of our Cool Moms list, and not only because she’s the host and cocreator of the cultish, balls-out podcast Midwest Teen Sex Show. This year, Hasler, 30, helped make a pilot that could catapult those edgy five-minute videos about everything from boobies to beatin’ off to a full-on Comedy Central show. Meanwhile, she led a series of well-received “girl talks” for young women at the New York Public Library; pitched Sirius Radio a sexy talk show; and plays mom and role model to three young sons. What’s it like to be the kid of an outré sex educator? We interviewed Hasler with her eldest son, 11-year-old Trast, to find out.

Where do most kids your age get information about sex?
Trast: Basically, scattered sources. Some kids get it from their parents and some get it from inappropriate places.
Nikol: They did see movies in school a couple of years ago. Everyone laughed when they talked about boners. Kids at Trast’s age really don’t talk about it much to each other.
Trast: It’s kind of a sensitive topic.

So, who do you talk with when you have questions about sex?
Trast: My mom.
Nikol: And sometimes we talk about video games. But yes, Trast and I have had a lot of conversations about sex. The earlier ones we had were about homosexuality, because I suspected that Trast was gay. Recently he’s told me that he’s pretty sure he’s not. He’s also asked me, “What is the original source of AIDS?” And, “Why are there flavored condoms?” Sometimes it’s just a simple conversation, and sometimes he’ll come sit down, and we’ll have a private talk. We also recently watched Kinsey together.

Nikol, you say Midwest Teen Sex Show is appropriate for kids 13 and older. Has Trast seen it?
Trast: Only the first episode [on female masturbation] and some small parts that my mom wanted to show me.
Nikol: He knows a lot. But he’s 11. I feel there are some parts that would be inappropriate.

Do you think it scares other parents that you’re so open with your kids?
Nikol: When I started getting press coverage, Cub Scout meetings got very uncomfortable. There was one family who wouldn’t allow their son to play with Trast anymore.
Trast: Actually, it turned out they were pretty big jerks anyway.

Trast, do you think parents can be too open about sex?
Trast: Not really. If it’s something interesting, I’ll listen.
Nikol: One thing Trast brought up is that parents don’t necessarily talk to their kids about how sex feels, and they also don’t talk about how to do it. I get that: I don’t want to tell you about my sex life, either. But sometimes kids don’t even get the basics. Those movies they saw in school —one was about penises and the other was about wet dreams. They told the boys that they may have wet dreams, but they didn’t tell them what it means!

When you started making the videos, did you intend for teens—and parents—to rely on them for sex facts?
Nikol: No. We did it purely for fun. When the director invited me to do it, I asked him, “Why me?” He said, “You were the girl in high school who was always talking about sex!” I didn’t realize at first that I was saying things people didn’t know. By episode five or six, it became apparent that we were having an impact on people. We realized we can’t just do it for fun. It has to be accurate. I’m constantly learning things that I didn’t know, too.

Trast, what’s the most surprising thing your mom ever told you?
Trast: [Silence]
Nikol: Trast is bored and reading a book now. [To Trast] You were confused about birth control. You said, “Wait a minute, people can do that?” You were really surprised that people could stop babies from happening. Now it’s a joke. Whenever I tell him he’s bugging me, he says...
Trast: You should have used birth control.