Marcia Gay Harden

Marcia Gay Harden

Courtesy of Ray Stubblebine/Carnival Cruise Lines

Marcia Gay Harden has won a host of prizes for her acting—an Oscar for her portrayal of artist Lee Krasner in Pollock, a Tony for her turn as a smug Park Slope parent in God of Carnage—but her favorite role is playing mom to three kids with husband Thaddaeus Scheel: 11-year-old Eulala, and five-year-old twins Julitta Dee and Hudson Harden. Despite her pedigree, the petite, raven-haired performer is refreshingly unpretentious. When she isn’t engaged on stage or on set, she’s busy thumbing through the pages of Time Out Kids (she’s a big fan!), looking for things to do with her brood. We recently caught up with the Harlem resident at Rockefeller Center, where she read the world’s largest children’s tome to a group of Brooklyn public-school students as part of Carnival Cruise Lines’ “Book of Dreams” event to benefit the St. Jude Children's Research Hospital.

What inspired you to become involved with this charitable event?
Carnival is launching a new ship, Carnival Dream, which offers a program called Care for Families. Passengers can help raise money for the hospital in myriad ways: They can spend an hour at a danceathon or on the waterslide, etc. I love the idea of infusing stewardship into people’s vacations! I think families should vacation together, and cruising is a wonderful option. My dad was in the Navy, so when I was a kid we went on naval ship cruises. We also went on a domestic cruise from Japan back to Hawaii, and it was a blast.

Have you ever been on a cruise with your kids?
Yes, and it was fantastic! These days there are these huge vessels with tons of amenities—it’s completely different from when I was a child. My kids got to play on the Carnival Dream—there’s a golf course, an aqua slide; it’s like a little city on the water.

In real life you seem so together, but as an actress, you’re known for tackling dysfunctional characters. How are you able to play parts so different from yourself?
That’s a conversation that could take hours and hours and hours! When I create a character, I imagine what it’s like to be that person and try to do it as truthfully as I can. [As a waiter drops by] Like this gentleman setting down the plate: There’s something very open about him. Or you [Pointing to this interviewer], you have a very husky voice; what does that tell me about you? I examine other people’s characteristics, so when I’m playing characters I don’t always have to make them me; I can transform into others.

How do you juggle work and family life?
I don’t! The balls are dropping all the time. I’m fortunate to have a team of people who help me. I’ve got an assistant, an office manager, a nanny—she’s not full-time but she’s there when I need her. I also have a great and responsible husband. So I certainly don’t keep those balls in the air all by myself.

What do you do with your kids during mommy time?
I love reading to them, and they love reading. Eulala and I are reading the Harry Potter series; we have one more book to go. Hudson and Julitta read all the time. Hudson is now reading on his own; Julitta has a different kind of imagination and reads pictures. It’s hard to have mommy time while I’m in God of Carnage, so we do things in the morning. We always have breakfast together and we try to have dinner together.

Marcia Gay Harden

Courtesy of Ray Stubblebine/Carnival Cruise Lines

What compelled you and your husband to move to Harlem, and how has living there shaped your perception of the neighborhood?
Well, Harlem is a very family-oriented neighborhood and it always has been. It suffered deeply from crack and other drugs for a period of time, after being ignored. And it’s important that those sentences go together: Harlem was ignored by the city and it suffered, and the families that had always lived there suffered as well. The longtime residents got the crack out and started rebuilding the area, and now it’s a really lovely place. Everybody says “Good morning” in Harlem because it’s true! And that’s lovely. It’s fantastic for us to live there, to be in such a diverse neighborhood. We feel welcome up there.

What are your family’s favorite NYC hangouts?
We love the YMCA—I should mention I’m a spokesperson for the Y, but that came about because I go there and my kids go there. It’s an amazing institution; I go to the one on 63rd Street. I take a pottery class, go to the gym. Talk about diversity: In the building you have people of every age from 95 to newborns, and you don’t see that at a lot of gyms! Other favorite places: On 45th Street and Eighth Avenue there’s Slice of Pizza; they’ve got great pizza, but it’s the people behind the counter whom I just love. I take my kids there all the time. We also love Red Mango and wonderful vegetarian places like Blossom.

Are your kids in public or private school?
Private. There are some really wonderful public schools in NYC and some have programs that are absolutely on par with private ones, and I did look into a school up in Harlem, which was wonderful. But I wanted them to be in a school where the arts are really phenomenal. It’s important that kids learn, but I really don’t like all the testing, testing, testing. That’s not a measure of intelligence. I’m reading this incredible book called Brain Rules, which says that there’s no situation worse for learning than sitting still in a classroom. I like programs that are hands-on, where kids learn about the Brooklyn Bridge by going to the Brooklyn Bridge. And my kids don’t even do enough of that. I feel like all schools need to reconsider the way they approach children. I personally don’t believe in homework. I think it’s BS. It’s very hypocritical to constantly say we want to keep our kids close, then send them home with so much homework that family time becomes nonexistent. I had to tell Eulala that while she might not finish her homework, she has to find an hour to spend with her brother and sister every night and have dinner with the family.

Do you find it difficult to raise kids in the city, and would you ever opt to move to the suburbs?
No, what’s difficult about the city? The only thing difficult about the city is when you have a little baby in a stroller and you’re trying to take the subway and you have to bump down the stairs. But then you fall in love with the city because some New Yorker inevitably helps you.

Has acting in God of Carnage been convenient since it’s on Broadway and you haven’t had to go on location anywhere?
In truth, it’s been difficult because I’ve been in the play at night and my kids are in school during the day. So I’m free when they’re not. But it’s a dream come true to be in a hit Broadway show that’s comic and tragic and intelligent with such an amazing cast. Hope Davis, James Gandolfini and Jeff Daniels [all of whom were nominated for Tonys] are dynamic, excellent, brilliant actors. The experience has re-instilled my love of acting. Sometimes in film and television I don’t have the opportunity to play roles that really stretch and challenge me.

The play makes Park Slope parents look pretty impossible. What’s your take on them, and do you hate them as much as a lot of other folks do?
No, that’s just such a fad! You know we all are what we choose to be. Although I don’t live in Park Slope, I’m a mother who probably does get too involved and I need to step away sometimes. Just today, my daughter forgot her clarinet, so I was wondering, Should I rush it over to her school or not? I didn’t. Normally I do; normally, like Pavlov’s dog, I give up what I need to do in order to help my kids. But actually her school is encouraging us not to do things like that. How will she learn responsibility unless I let her be responsible?

You recently acted opposite Eulala in the movie Home. What was that experience like, and do you two plan to team up again?
I would work with her again, but I don’t know if she will with me! She very much wants to be in a movie when I’m not around. She would love that. My little one, Julitta, just did a movie with Lucy Liu. She played a little Russian girl, and Hudson had a huge audition for a movie but he decided he didn’t want to do it.

Can you give us any dirt on the upcoming season of Damages, on which you play a ruthless attorney?
Nope—you’ll have to watch!

Do you read Time Out Kids?
Yes, I read it all the time for information about dance classes and free things to do, like what’s going on in Central Park and at the New York Public Library. It’s really informative. Thank you!