3 questions for Jill Starishevsky, Bronx assistant DA

Photograph: Caroline Voagen Nelson

Your book, My Body Belongs to Me, teaches tots the difference between good and bad touch. What spurred you to write it?
I’m a legal defender of children who’ve been sexually abused. When my daughter was almost three, I knew it was important to talk to her about it, but I didn’t know exactly what to say. I went to the Donnell Children’s Library here and asked for everything on the subject. The librarian came out with a stack of books, but they were all on a much higher reading level.

What do you say to parents who don’t think it’s necessary to talk to little ones about this stuff?
Most parents think sexual abuse isn’t going to happen to their child, because what’s in the media are the kids who are snatched on their way to the school bus. But over 90 percent of sexually abused children are abused by someone they know and trust. It could be a priest, rabbi, coach, janitor…anyone who sees your child when he or she is away from you.

Is it possible for parents to be too pedophile-phobic?
Well, you don’t want to keep your kids in a cage. If you’re not letting them out of your sight, then maybe that’s being too protective. Another no-no is asking almost daily, “Has anyone touched you?” At some point the child is going to be so conditioned to say “No, no, no” that asking may not elicit a disclosure.—Carole Braden

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