Back Talk

Illustration: Brendan Leach

I told a child in the playground to stop throwing sand. His mother snapped at me for “yelling” at her kid. Is it okay to discipline other children?

Personally, I love it when other parents attempt to get my kids (one of whom is a notorious sand tosser) in line, because god knows I can’t. Not everyone is as much of a pushover in need of outside reinforcements as I am, though. Plenty of parents’ Mama/Papa Bear instincts will kick in the moment anyone says “stop” to their child. But if a kid is doing something that could hurt either himself or others, then it’s not a matter of playground politics—it’s a matter of safety.

My other mom friends and I often give our three-year-olds baths together. My husband thinks it’s inappropriate for our son to be naked with other kids. Your thoughts?

Any weirdness about kids this age being naked around each other (especially in the bath, where they’re supposed to be nudie butts) is total projection on your husband’s part. In fact, taking a bath together, under your supervision, can be a great way for kids to learn about male and female private parts. I’m guessing, though, that your kids are oblivious to sex differences during their group baths—they’re too busy splashing and giving each other bubble beards.

My nanny wants help finding a new job since my child is starting school in the fall. The problem: We’re not parting on the best of terms. I worry, though, that if I don’t help, she’ll be left unemployed with tots of her own to feed.

Post a “nanny available” message on Listservs and boards with the bare basics of her qualifications. If a potential employer follows up, answer her questions honestly (“Finding activities to do isn’t her strong point”). That way, you’re doing the best you can to find her employment without deceiving other parents. She may not have been a good fit your family, but she could be perfect for another.

Two seven-year-olds my son and I were recently dining with starting making out—and their parents didn’t intervene. I was in shock! Should I have said something?

Second-graders making out?!? I thought I was fast playing spin-the-bottle in sixth. I’m hoping that they weren’t truly hooking up. Their parents were probably too shocked to do anything or afraid of shaming the kids about their sexual exploration. While I wouldn’t suggest saying “Cut that out, you little tramps!,” it is okay to tell them that their behavior isn’t restaurant- appropriate. Option two: Pull the parents aside to let them know that the kissing makes you—and your son —uncomfortable.

In a quandry? E-mail your parenting questions to our columnist at kids@timeoutny.com.

See more...

• Back Talk
• Articles from this issue