Back Talk

Illustration: Brendan Leach

I signed my eight-year-old up for piano lessons and she wants to quit after just three lessons. Should I force her to stick it out or not?

Offer her a reward, perhaps a pack of Silly Bandz, if she continues attending them for an agreed-upon amount of time. If at that point she still wants to quit, respect her wishes and ask if there are any other activities she’d rather do. If she’s truly not into piano, she won’t get much out of the lessons—no matter how many she sits through. Just ask my parents: I emerged from two years of piano lessons with one song under my belt. To my credit, though, I can play "Mary Had a Little Lamb" on my kids’ toy xylophone.

The mom of my five-year-old son’s friend has asked that, during playdates, I only feed him organic food and disallow television. Do I have to comply?

No. If she doesn’t trust you to make responsible, healthy decisions for the boys while they’re under your supervision, she should host the playdates herself. You’re not a babysitter. So the next time she makes requests—that is, beyond reasonable ones like "Please don’t give him nuts, he’s allergic"—you might want to let her know that you’re plum out of organic, homemade granola bars, but would be happy to drop your son off at her place.

My tween received an invite to a party and we R.S.V.P.’d yes. But then the birthday girl told my daughter that she didn’t want her to come. Should I send her?

Call the girl’s mom and explain the situation without being accusatory. She’ll likely talk to her daughter to find out what’s going on and encourage her to welcome your daughter to the party. Or, she may explain that her daughter’s had a rough time lately and is acting out. If the mom doesn’t offer to help, you might say, "I don’t think my daughter feels comfortable attending, but thanks for the invitation." Either way, agree to keep your conversation as confidential as possible, so as not to mortify the kids.

Is it okay for kids to run naked through the playground sprinklers?

It’s one thing to let your tyke run around naked among friends in your home or backyard, but out in public, everyone has a different opinion about what is and isn’t appropriate. While I think there’s nothing cuter than seeing tiny tushies run through a sprinkler, it may open an unwanted can of worms for other parents and kids. So I’d keep your little one in a suit. If he wants to strip, tell him that his swim trunks give him superpowers or, if he’s old enough, explain that it might make others uncomfortable. If you’re a body-positive kind of parent, asking him to cover up at the park won’t do any harm.

In a quandry? E-mail your parenting questions to our columnist at kids@timeoutny.com.

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